AD5803 - Final Evaluation

Now that I came to the end of this module, I can really say that I absolutely enjoyed it and it made me incredibly grow in my photography practice. I have always been very excited about coming back to the darkroom and learning how to make high-quality black and white prints, furthermore, since the last summer I realised that I want to develop my documentary practice into sustainable communities and this assignments really gave me the opportunity to focus on this field and practicing with film cameras. Before this academic year I was not confident using film, I started using I TLR medium-format cameras (Minolta Autocord and Yashica Mat) during the first semester and I felt that they really enabled me to express my style, I love the gritty black and white aesthetic and the experience of shooting with a TLR is very particular. By looking in the viewfinder from above, there is nothing between you and your subjects so you feel much closer to them.

The initial idea I had for this module was different, I wanted to document sustainability in education by shooting in Stainer, Montessori, or forest schools but, unfortunately, I did not have any opportunity to get the access.

Equine therapy was something that has always fascinated me, but I had never considered it for a project; when my flatmate told me about her experience working in that area I realised that it would have been an amazing story concerning both sustainability and community. At RDA (Riding for the Disabled Association) people with disabilities are empowered by the experience of riding horses and the many volunteers are empowered as well by the support they give to the disables, and by taking care of the horses. I focused my project on the community of the volunteers, who build and incredible connection with the horses and the people they support.

Every time I do a project, for me is a priority to be involved in the story I am shooting. I cannot tell a story if I don't connect with it and I cannot bare the idea of taking pictures without giving something back. For this reason, I did volunteering as well at RDA, but I feel like I have not been able to get as integrated as I wanted.

I absolutely enjoyed this project, but I had quite a few struggles.

To begin with, the first shooting went very bad since my camera did not work and I basically wasted two rolls of film. Consequently, when I went practicing in the darkroom I was really demotivated and worried and I could not get anything right. At that moment I had to make a decision about which camera I would have used for the rest of the project because I could not rely on my Yashica anymore, but I was not confident with other kinds of cameras. I was attempted to use a standard 35mm but I knew I much preferred the square medium format, I just wanted to make sure to shoot with a camera I could get familiar with very quickly because I really needed to print rolls from the actual project. I tried the Hasselblad and I immediately got confident with it, but many times I had problems with light leaks since many backs from the store have this issue.

Another problem I experienced is that I could shoot this project only during days with good light (not the best compromise to have here in England). The fact was that I had the chance to shoot outside only when we went to take the horses from the fields in the morning and when we bring them back in the afternoon, the space indoor was literally a goldmine during bright days, but was an awful environment during gloomy days since they had to turn the lights on.

Apart from these technical issues, as I mentioned, I believe that I wanted to get more integrated with the community. I always spent part of my time there volunteering and helping as much as I could, but since most of the times I was with new different people, I got familiar with just a few volunteers and for most of the other people I was a stranger taking pictures. This is my biggest self-critique about this project, I never got really invisible as a photographer. Obviously I made sure to be very transparent with everybody and the leaders of the association were extremely happy to support me and they acknowledged me about who has or not the model release and where I could not take pictures. There were some restrictions that I really had to keep in mind and one of the reasons why I mainly took pictures of the volunteers is because most of the times I could not make sure that the children had the model release and furthermore I could not stand in the arena during the lessons. These precautions, plus the limitation of the range of environments, have obviously limited my practice and after the ninth roll I felt like this project was exhausted for now.

Looking back at when I started printing, I can see how much I technically grow. At the beginning I could not believe I would have never got familiar with the process but, after a genuine very terrible start, I pushed myself to take the control of the situation and I became very methodic in the darkroom processes. Now I absolutely enjoy printing and I want to get further in the darkroom processes. What I always miss in digital photography, is "getting my hands dirty" and making crafts; printing (and making books) allows me to reconcile with the process of making and for this reason I want to explore more kinds of paper and techniques, like toning and bleaching.

In conclusion, this project has been and incredible challenge with many obstacles and rewards. It confirmed me that I want to develop my documentary practice into the theme of sustainability and communities; furthermore I overcame my terror of darkroom printing and now I want to explore it further and making it an integral part of my personal style.